Same Date, Different Mode ;)

What an absolutely superb day today is =)

WOW! Despite my bitter THANK YOU post earlier, and those tons of kleenex moments yesterday and earlier this morning...i managed to catch 2 hour of sleep around 3 ish till 5 ish this morning and woke up feeling, ABSOFREAKINLUTELY ( I'm actually tempted to use the other version of this infamous word...excuse my FRENCH ;) ) FRESH!!!

Yeah i know some of my closest friends labeled me as BATMAN because of my REPETITIOUS insomnia episode... (luckily, thanks to my good gene.... NO VISIBLE DARK CIRCLE!!! YAAAYYYYY)..and i'm officially " Sleepless in between Lido & Penampang" heeeeeeeeee....anyway...

I'm so eager to share with you guys about how my day started this morning about 6 am onwards!

My day started with me driving out from my house with my loyal "makcik" (my maid, now officially my chef at my kopitiam, also my best friend!) then we went to buy some tofu and fishcake at the Lido wet market.... (ehh...one sec, i have to go for supper with my uncle B....) BRB

P.S.

Sorry guys, just got back from out of town...didnt managed to complete this ;) someday when i'm free will come back to this ok ? Hugsss

The Other Meaning of the word, THANK YOU

Wow, todays seems to be a day filled with lessons!

Somehow it started very dramatic for me today, afterall... it was a challenging month for me, Personal and business wise.

Have you ever felt like you've been attacked from every possible angle that you can imagine? Thanks to my brother, he gave a good topic for today's blog.... I was sort of complaining about my "blessings" to him earlier this evening and it was a bit of a relief because that's what i do sometimes if i'm in my "down to the blues" day.

Well complaining isn't the right word to describe about what i've done earlier, at the moment it seems like it's the closest word i can use tho...Anyway.....

In addition to my drama of the day today, when i was about to have my dinner just now, i had a call from my grandmother....well it was an accident call (i call it) where her phone (maybe her phone have it's own mind....you think?) accidently dialled my handphone and i heard on the other side that someone was having an intense conversation.

So as curious as ever, i try to listened to the conversation...to my surprise, i heard my name came out of no where and .....someone was actually bad mouthing me! I know for sure that my grandmother doesn't read and doesn't know how to dial her own handphone...what surprised me was, what actually happen? Miracle? That maybe God is finally here to show me what kind of relatives i have in my family? Talking about TRUE COLOURS!

As far as i remember, i have done nothing to this particular aunt of mine (well now, i don't think i remember i have such aunt....kapish!) What triggers her to say such hurtful things about me? I wish i knew.... After i decided that i heard enough "juicy" stories from that accident phone call, i passed the phone to my maid and she was SHOCKED! Yeap, she heard every details....every bit of whats left!

If you asked me, if am i sad or hurt or felt betrayed after this? And if i ever said NO, I will be lying...

To put it into a scene...my heart broke to pieces....shattered! At that moment, i asked myself...what did i do to deserve these? I'd never ask them for a single cent when i hit rock bottom broke....I never asked help from any of them when my family was really in deep S***!!! Whatever i own to this day is from my own initiative! My sweat, my tears and my sacrifices....everything! Every single thing!

What gives them the right to say such hurtful things about me? I OWE THEM NOTHING!!!!

There out loud, i let it off my chest! To this day, i never looked down on them for living a humble life, because i know and i understand that's the best they can do...and if they have problem they always come to me and i always listened if i can't help....is the least i could do....

Well, after i decided that it's too much for me to bare...i decided to call my grandmother's phone....and asked my granny to pass me to my aunt.

Don't worry, i didn't screamed or cursed or call her with unimaginable names....instead, i said to her " Aunty, i heard every single words that came out from your mouth (altho she still tries to deny it) about me....and i really wanna THANKED YOU for making me a HUMAN BEING! " ..."at this moment, this point of my life, i'm almost gone crazy with every bit of problems in my life and hearing you say such things about me behind my back, isn't helping at all"...."Thank You for making me feel this bad...i hoped it makes you happy." Full stop....

If you were in my shoe that time, what will you do?

At this moment, I'm mending my broken spirit, collecting it bit by bit...call it despair...i don't care!

I'm a girl who started with nothing and from no where, whatelse do i have to lose? I've lost a lot of things in life and I'm grateful for being given a second chance in life, to have lived until this day to make a change in my life and so as my family....

To those small minded people, i wish you'd never have to come across my path because if you do...you wouldn't have survived it!

So back off, and don't try and tell me that i'm a bad person or i've done some really bad thing in life, because you don't know me, you don't know what it takes to be me to survived all those things! And remember this, YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE ABLE TO CALL ME YOUR NIECE!!!

Thank you for teaching me a lesson today, something that i'll treasure for the rest of my life, one fine day...i'll be a very successful person and ...i'll see wether you still see me as the person you see me today....Thank you for giving me the strength to fight back! I hope you live long to see me on my way to success!!!!


Yours Truly,
MATAHARI


I LOOK TO YOU



I DIDN'T KNOW MY OWN STRENGHT