The One With Loneliness

Last saturday, I don't know what got into me... i suddenly felt like i'm the only human being alive in the whole universe.....the loneliness was extremely unbearable....

Could it be, I'm trying too hard to reach out to be heard? Honestly...i don't know...as i was sitting outside the balcony looking out, i realised something that, i finally understood why some people willing to accept their partner's mistakes and willingly closed one eye...just so that they have someone by their side....so they are not lonely....

Then it brought me to another question....can i live with that? Honestly, i don't know....

That particular morning, i really wanted to be be heard, be it small talk...or simply bitching about something...main important thing was...i don't feel like being alone that particular saturday....so i did the usual unthinkable...i called up all my friends..the usual one ;) to my disapointment...none of them answered. Well obviously it was a holiday. plus some havent even wake up from their beautiful dream ;)

I kept calling until i cant think of another number to dial..then i said to myself... "God, tell me....who is this person that you've sent to ease my loneliness...i really am lonely now and i wanna know...." Soonest after that, my phone rang! And he was definately a blast from the past!!!! Someone whom i thought i can just leave, but never really left me whenever i'm in trouble....D :)

Regret for letting him go? Nope....but it was indeed a beginning of something more wonderful than it ever was....A Higher level of understanding about life on my part....and missing me terribly on his part :)

Sometimes....things happened for a reason....now i fully embrace the whole sentence....and fully embracing my loneliness and turning it into something wonderful, to the eyes of others, it's barely a relationship.. so to speak....to me, it's a bond that no one can ever break... and this is how sure i am with the whole thing that has been happening lately....as if everything that happened...brings us closer than we could ever imagined.

I embrace the whole meaning of loneliness and felt happy in a way, lonely doesn't mean that i'm totally alone, it's just that sometimes, it makes the heart grew fonder (in my case, not yet in love AGAIN...but the thought of someone thinking about me, in such way...the feeling is like listening to a beautiful melody in a sunny morning with a cup of coffee...content....yup that makes me happy!!!!

.....Soulmate? You tell me..... :)