Thursday, May 19, 2011

Kak ...

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning. May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand. Sleep well Kak, rest in peace...Al Fatihah..."

I wanted so much to pour out tons of heartache & regrets for the departed beloved kakak....since her life chapter have finally signed & sealed by The Almighty, there's nothing much i can say or change to make things less painful for her. All I can do is bury her deep in my heart with all our wonderful memories while she's still breathing.

I am numb at the moment. I kept asking myself of all the cousins and close family, WHY did she choose me to be the first to know about her illness? Could it be she wanted me to learn "how to handle such incident"? Could it be, she wanted me to be braver in life? Could it be she teaching me to love myself more, looking back at what her past experience which she told me in person, first hand?

I really don't know...

All i could do at the moment, is to look back and make some better improvement in my life based on her advice and past life experiences....praying that i will handle my life wiser, especially the health part.

Sleep well Kak, rest in peace...Al Fatihah..

Yours Truly,
"Cloudy" Matahari.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Forgiveness Vs. Vengeance ?

To be brutally honest, i have been having sleepless night because of a recent incidence.

But after giving it a good thought, i choose living my life happy, healthy and (AMEN) the past, i'd kept tons and tons of grudges resulting many many sleepless nights and heartache and headache. Do i want to be in that kind of life again? I don't think so.... i really like where i am now.

So in the case of Forgiveness Versus Vengeance, Forgiveness 1- Vengeance-0. But do pray really hard for me, as I'm only HUMAN ;)

Yours truly,
Princess Matahari :D