The One with Self Taught

"It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not."

Well ladies and gentlemen... i am for one, a firm believer on this. I'd rather be cast out from a group for being myself than tagged along but feel unhappy and feel miserable about something which easily can be avoided.

Yes, i talk a lot and Yes, i think too much. I can't be lesser than what or who i already am. A Snob? Never was... but highly opinionated, Yes! I am still learning and will always seek something new to learn and to explore and these are those things that kept me going.

Every corner or every bump kept reminding me where i stand and kept reminding me how far i have been in life...still, i constantly kept it to myself that, i'm here temporarily and i try my very best to keep it real. Regardless of what others said.

If some of you who's not very open, you might think that i'm very defensive, all i can say is Yes and No...it's actually depending on the situation, like i mentioned earlier...highly opinionated hehe...I like to argue on both side, pros and cons....and because i said earlier too...i'm learning and always be a learner...in life.

I like a lot of things in life, music, paintings, books, everything that life can offer...but most of all...i like observing people, the eyes, the walk, the gestures...everything about human being fasinates me. Human being are like puzzles....if you know the base of the puzzles...99 percent of the puzzle board is solved! Only if the puzzle board comes with a twist ....if you know what i mean..hehe

Today, i feel happy for doing some good deed to a close friend of mine, actually she's doing me a favour with my work related issues...i really want to see her happy. If it means that transforming her looks and giving her new hope everytime, then be it.

For once, i wanna see her smile again, because she have been wearing black for most of her life. And i really wanna her to find that Great Love that she's been looking for all these while.

A simple girl with a complicated life story.....Lord, please grant me this wish that i can make a difference in others, to be able to lead them when they are in darkness and to bring light in their lives and still live a happy life. Amen. Sweet dreams all...HUGSSSSS

Yours truly, Matahari

Sex and The City Quotes....The Memorable ones ;)

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

“When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?”

“Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

“Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free til they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

“Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high."”

“You men have no idea what we're dealing with down there. Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothin'.”

“I will never be the woman with the perfect hair, who can wear white and not spill on it.”

“Are there some women put in the world just to make you feel bad about yourself?”

“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

“It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!”

“It takes half the amount of time you dated someone to get over them.”

“I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss - the perfect parent - or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.

“I'm thinking balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it.

“From my experience, honey, if he seems too good to be true—he probably is.

“I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

“I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.”

“Don't you want to stand still with me?”

“The only thing worse than a liar is a bad liar.

“The only thing that I have ever successfully made in the kitchen is a mess. And several little fires.

“She can reach me, but I can't ever get her.

The One with Total Serenity...

After been sick most of the time these past few months, i come to one conclusion that i really need a break..physically and mentally from all my surroundings. That includes my close circle of friends, well the happy ones though...

I think i spent more than a thousand ringgit on medication alone recently, my mind been working over time and my concern is .... i have only me to depend upon if anything were to happen.

To some of close friends, i'm sorry i won't be able to attend to you while you're in a total darkness at the moment....I need to sort out a few missing details in my life. If only you guys can have an insight of what's happening in my brain right now.

1001 things but don't know where to start. This time i'm writing in to just update on what's happening, for sure...i'm ok. Just need to rest from all the huuhaa...No heart break this time..more on where to head, next!

Was on the phone with che che nong for about an hour earlier....and the dark cloud seems lesser now and typing a few sentence in my blog now seems much easier than earlier this morning....

My mood now sounds more like this coming video by Maxim....so i bid you all sweet dreams and happy listening... :)

Maxim ~ Somewhere in Time



Yours truly, Matahari

The One With Over Indulgence!

Ahhhh....finally a time to sit back and blog ;)

Well, after that very dissapointing Harvest Queen result...(i'm not one of the judges..so don't look at me :p !) I was actually away for the first time in years....away from Kota Kinabalu during Kaamatan day.


I was in KL from the 29th of May till the 3rd of June....but i was sick all the way..up to a point even lost my voice to sore throat! Yeah it was SALES SALES SALES all the way in KL but i was SICK SICK SICK all the time!!! ARGHHHHH!!!!


Luckily, Gucci was having BIG SALES that time :D!!! So that put my spirit high again....tho i didnt find the supposedly Dream Gucci Bag....i managed to get me my very own white Gucci bag and purse for a very good deal YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

And here's she heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D !!!

I totally forgotten to mentioned Royale Chulan Kuala Lumpur, where i stayed for the past 5 nights....new hotel i must say, but really nice place to be, where Pavillion is only less than 5 minutes walk ;) heeeeeee! (sorry about the picture guys....donno what happen to it....sighhhh....anyway)

As you can see, i upgraded my so called 'stone aged phone' to BB...guess which one is mine? heheeeee......the other one belonged to Miss Big B!!!

Anyway, all the shopping this month doesn't make me feel as good as i wanted...because uncle B was right about one thing that, no matter how...."if it rains...it's me who's gonna get the impact" and he was darned right about it....

In my heart now, i wish that i can do something about it....question: can't i at least enjoy this moment without feeling guilty? Don't i deserved to spend a tiny amount of time and money to make myself happy? I just need a break...can't i just indulged in something that i know i always dreamed off all these while but never got a chance to do it...because i was busy doing things for the benefit of others?

No, today i'm not gonna feel guilty for something that i deserve....I deserves all these after what i do for others....i'm not asking for sympathy vote nor do i want to feel bad because i spend the money that others dream of saving....I DESERVE THIS FOR ME!!!! I'm sorry if others didn't get a chance to do it....while i still can, i'm gonna spend what i want, while i still can. And i feel good about it!!! DAMN GOOD!!! Not bragging about it...just simply sharing about what makes me feel good....that's all.....

And for the record, I'm thankful that you're always reminding me about what the future's gonna be for me, on how it'll look like IF i screw it up....AGAIN....but this time, i'm gonna stop worrying about it and plan things my way....because at the end of it...it's me who's gonna alter my destiny, trust me...i won't repeat the same mistake others did....or what i did in the past......i know what i want and WIN OR LOSE i hold the key to my destiny....no one else....PERIOD!

Happy Belated birthday, me...i'm all grown up now, wiser....and i'll do the best i can to be the best version of me!