Dead Honest...

"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option"

Above was a quote i saw as soon as i logged into my facebook account earlier, how ironic...

For the past few weeks now, i have been in a deep series of ups and downs, well obviously... I am a very sentimental person.

One second...hmmm....let me just copy and paste another quote from this new "interesting" friend on FB of mine...there>>>

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat,
or will stay awake just to watch you sleep...
wait for the boy who kisses your forehead,
who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats,
who holds your hand in front of his friends,
who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on.
One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you....
The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her." ...

I'm normally very inspired with any quotation (the really "fill the empty spot" ones...heeee). Then it hits me, why do i even lower myself sometimes just to get noticed by one particular guy? Where the possibilities are endless and wide open right before my eyes......

Wait a minute!!! I'm not going to fall for that again....where, "if" i'm given just a slight hint of "hope" or attention from one particular guy that i really like and care about, i become a "Drama Queen"..(sighhh)...sad but that's the truth =)

By jotting this down, i have No what-so-ever intention to put others down, passing around gossips, or pointing finger . This is mostly about me, about what's going on in my head right this moment, and i just have to blog it out before i start feeling sorry about me being given a cold shoulder......

I'm in my deepest thought .... in a quest of soul searching..

Altho... i do feel kinda dissapointed about certain thing, but I can never force people to look my way, BUT ....this i know for sure that i will NEVER ever take people for granted. I always hold everyone close to my heart because i cannot imagine waking up one fine day, and realise that I lost A DIAMOND while too busy collecting STONES ......

When other people say, i talk and write like a "knife" ...you better believe them!

Those days, i always hold my thoughts to myself, and guess what happened? I end up feeling sorry for myself all my life! And what do i gained out of it? 36 Kgs, to be exact !

I eat ...whenever i'm depressed, angry and sad! It's like a menu or fast food restaurant (eating spree syndrome!!) for every (emotional / mood) occasion heeeeeeeeee!

So everytime if you do see me (real life, that is) :
1. Gained weight, you should know that i'm NOT emotionally happy about something!

2. If I looked a bit OVER DRESSED for a simple gathering or simply going for groceries shopping, I'm in my "I Am Beautiful Day" (obviously, low self esteem mode ;) )

I have a confession :
1. KFC Mode - if i'm heading here, that's because i just tried a dress and the boutique have no other larger size for me!

2. Burger King Mode - if I'm having a bad "relationship" day with loved ones or friends or colleague....sighhh

3. McDonald Mode - if i'm having a bad day with my family....

What i'm trying to say is, I'm cranky (luckily i'm at home!), sleepy (but can't sleep!) and i'm going to bed with my mask (i do care about how my look!!)...hoping that OPRAH heard me and imediately send a chopper and send me to BALI!!! I really need a long vacation, ALONE & FAR FROM HOME....even my ciggy's tasteless now....

I'm actually imagining myself as Cinderella now and wishing that my prince charming come and rescue me, swept me off my feet and live happily ever after..but then again, life will be boring eh? It's ok, as long as i know (deep down....) that HE is out there somewhere, if it's meant to be, one fine day I'll find my very own Prince charming ...

Meanwhile, this Princess is tired and living life one step at a time. right now listening to "So This Is Love" (Soundtrack from Cinderella...sighhhh heeeeeeeeeee)
Mint Tea, anyone? ;)


Yours Truly,
Cinderella (in denial...)