I almost became a stalker today. :) but i would like to think of it as SPY on a mission.
I have tasted that kind of life not so long ago, where the guy that i dated sent his army of spies all over the place...imagine this, as i entered Shenanigans ( a local bar ) he will definately know who i'm with, what i'm wearing and what did i drink that night. As this old memories flashes right before my eyes....i said to myself, wait a minute, nobody likes to be spied on.
There and then i decided to go home, rather than following what my heart tells me to do. At this moment, I'm all numb. I feel nothing and i definately not sleepy by the time i'm blogging. I almost posted this on my fb status "Princess : I'm really glad 2 know i can still LOVE. For tht fraction of moment, I really believed i hv another shot at happiness, I did. Altho it was just a GAME for some1 but i really did feel loved. Thank U, for showing me d'difference between a touch of a real man & what not, I'm wiser now. I wish u well :) in evrythin u do. May God b wit u, & grant u d'peace tht u've been waiting for (I'm deeply hurt in ways tht only I can understand) I forgive you..." but then i say to myself....maybe it'll be nicer to make it simple and direct, least it won't hurt anyone :)
(TODAY)
I just came back from where it all started. Tanjung Aru.....
Everytime, i wanna start or end something, it have to be near the water...why? It still a mystery to me until today. I'm as puzzled as you guys, when water washes all the dirt away, it soothes me in ways only i know. it nourishes every cells in my system even by the sound of the water...even when time of mourning, anywhere near the water will be perfect for me. :)
As in today, the supposedly Love of My Life Episode was signed or clocked closed nearby the beach....where mutual understanding was sealed. After this, i don't know really what's gonna happen between us. I just hope for the best to both of us, as we do really need a lot of healing therapy, emotionally.
This is what i put as soon as i reached home after that dinner:
1."Water will make everything clean again, cry if u must ..let it out and let the Universe hear you, for what u've sent out, ur longing and prayer will be answered"
As i was refering to what happen to me earlier time of the day, as tears out pouring sessions (hahaaa) and i finally felt relief because i finally feel my heart beat again, after being numb almost a week because of some past issues of someone dear to me. After that i had a good chat with my close friends and even managed to celebrate my YSL moments (AGAIN!!! BAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA) incase you don't know what i meant by YSL, the term people use refering to Young, Single and Lonely ( originated from that luxury brand, Yves Saint Lauren) but i would like my own version of it though: Young, Single and Luscious ;) nice eh heeeeeeeeeee
2. "Be thankful for whatever that is coming your way, if you look closer and deeper to it, it's actually making way for something big coming our way. Watch and learn how to laugh about it no matter how silly it turn out to be! Thru time, when we look back at it, it's all about unveiling the truth about life and the people in it...Live well, Love much, Laugh often!"
That's the thing about me stressing thing about truth and honesty, i may sound like a preacher..altho i of course don't want to admit it sometimes ( i can be annoying, don't say i didnt warned you hahaa) but if its for the good of human kind, why not eh?
A new friend today stressing out to me that, he sees me as a Leader, which i don't think suits my character. Well yeah, i can be very rebellious at times (especially when things don't go my way) , i can be demanding (when my needs are taken for granted for), i can be a little bossy (when it comes to doing things my way, of course with my own reasons) but how can you really tell that person have these so called leadership quality? (Dang, another question to be solved!!!!)
Ok...maybe not in politic bro (that's what i called him on FB!) but yeah it'll be in different line...hmmmmm, say Psycology :) seems like everybody need one now adays....for that i mean, me ;) BAH HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!! I'm going to church! Always think of me this way....
Jordan Hill ~ Remember Me This Way
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