July 17th The One with The Rain...again!

At this very exact moment, my earphone screaming "You'll have to cry me out" (well ok, that's the chorus lyrics of my current REPEAT MODE song...don't ask me how long it's been on repeat..i lost track myself hehe)

I guessed July's never really a happy month for me, but for some reason i don't feel as sad and scared as i used to be. Could it be...a turning point? Perhaps new life circle? I don't know, but what i do know now... i smoke less, i can sleep more than 3 hours, i no longer need antibiotics since early July until today, i'm in contact with some of my old coursemates, my old schoolmates, i have less grey hair (bad antibiotics!!!), i've watch about 30 dvds, i read my past issues of my abandoned magazines, some new books (motivationals mostly and some novels yayyyyyy), i get my other best friend (another ex schoolmates) to finally agree with me to make a small step of beautifying herself (her infamous eyebrows!!!), i finally tell the truth about another best friend of mine about her loved ones (which was a little chaotic at that time, but all is good now...trust me!)

P.S. Sorry love, to put u guys in such a difficult moment but I'm not sorry for telling u the truth and being a real friend.)

Ok, i think i stopped breathing there for a while....continue ~ hehe...Did i mentioned that 10 days from now, it's gonna be 14th years my father's passing annyversary? It's hard to finally say goodbye to my "waiting by the staircase with my favourite book" denial moment. My infamous denial syndrome which have been with me most of my childhood years thru my teen years and finally now....A big relief? Yes and No, to be honest.

A new friend whom i met in FB yesterday told me about his "rain moment" and hey, i'm not the only one at last! When he mentioned about how the rain reminds him about Lady D's passing, his childhood and his (well i assume...old flame) Miss Ex collegemate ...i wondered, are there anymore out there suffering from this "rain syndrome"? Could it be just because of the weather or because it's hard for us to let go of something so painful which took place during this weather?

It's a blessing really that this year we experience dry early of the year followed by very wet and humid mid year. Or else i won't be able to be face to face with my most feared weather...as they say, practice makes purrrfect!

Eversince the rainy season started, i've been at home most of the time, leaving my kopitiam in the mercy of my mom ( please God, don't let my staff chicken out when they have to face the wrath of her bahahaha) where i've been sick because lack of rest (don't get me wrong, the kopitiam's not that busy...it's my mind that can't shut down sometimes...) planning and contemplating about pros and cons regarding something which i need to do.

There were times, where i totally shut myself out from the rest of the world (this includes, the curtains, doors, handphones, newspapers etc...) for me to keep my mind blank even for an hour. If i'm not mistaken, this is pure schizophrenia! Bahahaaa.... After doing some research of which catagory does i fall under, out of 5 (Paranoid, Disorganized, Catatonic/Mood disorders, Undifferenciated and Residual) I think mine will be under my own catagory.....so to speak ;)

i'm exaggerating again innit ;) , told ya! Anyway.... Miss BigB dropped by earlier, had a chat about what happen recently, where i almost destroyed her love life for telling her about the truth about what i think of her beau. Never ever asked me about my opinion if you guys can't handle the truth, my word of advise! When people warned you guys about how lethal and dangerous my words and my thoughts can be, you better believe it.

I believe in NOT sparing any single details if it means that the person can put every puzzles into places, to help the person spare him/herself from agony. So be careful...be very careful...hehe.

I suddenly feel very tired and my mind is blank and light (in a good way..tho) I guessed, that's a good sign for me to take an hour or so rest then maybe who knows, i might write again later.

Yeah i know some of u miss hearing my nonsenses, but this princess need her "Sleeping beauty moment" ...i'll leave u guys with my REPEAT MODE SONG ( I have been looking for this song eversince i heard it 29th may when i was in KL, finally i found it when i was half as sleep on my sofa at home over the TV.....I tot i was dreaming!!!!!).....Pixie Lott ;) ~ "Cry Me Out"...have a beautiful rainy saturday people....P.S. Princess singing " You'll have to cry me out ~" suddenly i need a good hug...sighhhhh ......Bon jour, Mon cheri!


Sincèrement, toujours
Le soleil ;)


Pixie Lott ~ Cry Me Out