Y..O..U

Kerispatih ~ Untuk Pertama Kali
Aku temukan lagi sebuah cinta
di dalam aura hadirmu
aku rasakan kelembutan hati
di mimpi indah kasihmu

Kita bisa nikmati rasa ini
walau segalanya jelas terlarang
kita bisa saling menyayangi dan mencoba
tak perduli keadaan ini

reff:
dan untuk pertama kali
cintaku terbagi
dan ku ingin milikinya
dan untuk pertama kali
ku sangkali janji
dan bahagia mencintanya

Ohh
dan untuk pertama kali
cintaku terbagi
dan ku ingin milikinya
dan untuk pertama kali
ku sangkali janji
dan bahagia mencintanya

Untuk pertama kali







Rossa ~ Ayat - Ayat Cinta
Desir pasir di padang tandus
segersang pemikiran hati
terkisah ku di antara cinta yang rumit

Bila keyakinanku datang
kasih bukan sekadar cinta
pengorbanan cinta yang agung
ku pertaruhkan

reff:
maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
cintaku padamu
bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
ketika ku bersujud

bila keyakinanku datang
kasih bukan sekedar cinta
pengorbanan cinta yang agung
ku pertaruhkan

repeat)
reff:
maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
cintaku padamu
bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
ketika ku bersujud

ketika ku bersujud




Ungu ~ Kekasih Gelapku
Ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
meskipun tiada satu orang pun yg tahu
ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

Ku tahu ku takkan selalu ada untukmu
disaat engkau merindukan diriku
ku tahu ku takkan bisa memberikanmu
waktu yang panjang dalam hidupku

yakinlah bahwa engkau adalah cintaku
yg kucari slama ini dalam hidupku
dan hanya padamu kuberikan sisa cintaku
yg panjang dalam hidupku
hidupku

repeat *

ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu
ku mencintai mu sedalam-dalam hatiku
meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
meskipun tiada satu orang pun yg tahu
ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

ku mencintaimu lebih dari apapun
meskipun tiada satu orang pun yg tahu
ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku
meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku

kekasih gelapku




Ungu ~ Demi Waktu
Aku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir diantara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku

Maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila ku bisa memilih

Kalau saja waktu itu ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua tak kan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran

Maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila ku bisa memilih

Maafkan aku menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkan aku
Maafkan aku




Ungu ~ Tercipta Untukku
Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu
Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku
Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah
Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

Banyak kata
Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan
Kepada dirimu

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu
Sepanjang hidupku

Aku ingin engkau slalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Disetiap langkah
Yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Meski waktu akan mampu
Memanggil seluruh ragaku
Ku ingin kau tau
Kuslalu milikmu
Yang mencintaimu




(Doaku padaMu)
Ungu ~ Para PencariMu
menjalani hitam putih hidupku
membuatku mengerti arti hadirmu
dalam setiap langkah2 ku berarti
melewati setiap detik waktuku bersama takdirmu
membuatku mengerti hanyalah padamu
kukembali…

ku bersujud kepadamu memohon ampunanmu
adakah jalan untukku tuk kembali padamu

REFF :

akulah para pencarimu ya Allah
akulah yang merindukanmu ya robi
tunjukanku jalan yang lurus
tuk tetapkan langkahku

akulah para pencarimu ya Allah
akulah yang merindukanmu ya robi
hanya di tanganmu ya allah
tempat kupasrahkan hidupku




Kerispatih ~ MengenangMu
Takkan pernah habis air mataku
Bila ku ingat tentang dirimu
Mungkin hanya kau yang tahu
Mengapa sampai saat ini ku masih sendiri

Adakah disana kau rindu padaku
Meski kita kini ada di dunia berbeda
Bila masih mungkin waktu berputar
Kan kutunggu dirimu …

Reff:
Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah dirimu dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi …ohhh

Biarlah ku simpan sampai nanti aku kan ada di sana
Tenanglah dirimu dalam kedamaian
Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi... ohhh

Ingatlah cintaku kau tak terlihat lagi
Namun cintamu abadi



P.S. For Your Listening Pleasure. Know that you're with me, Always. No matter what i do, where i am..You are always there with me.................I LOVE YOU.

Manbai ~ Kau Ilhamku
Beribu bintang dilangit
Kini menghilang
Meraba aku dalam kelam
Rembulan mengambang
Kini makin suram
Pudar ilhamku tanpa arah

Sedetik wajahmu muncul
Dalam diam
Ada kerdipan ada sinar
Itukah bintang ataupun rembulan
Terima kasih kuucapkan

Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri hayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai lagu ini
Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh...
Sekadar memori
Kita di arena ini
Kau ilhamku
Kau ilhamku...

Repeat)
Izinkan kumencuri bayangan wajahmu
Izinkan ku mencuri hayalan denganmu
Maafkanlah oh...
Andai lagu ini
Mengganggu ruangan hidupmu
Kau senyumlah oh...
Sekadar memori
Kita di arena ini
Kau ilhamku(Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu) Kau ilhamku
Kau ilhamku(Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu) Kau ilhamku
Kau ilhamku(Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu) Kau ilhamku
Kau ilhamku(Izinkan ku mencuri bayangan wajahmu) Kau ilhamku

Yours Truly, MatahariMu

Turning Point

How should i begin this, hmmm..let me see, a turning point at last?

Well ok recently, on August 20th (i should say), marked as my new "birthday" as Princess of Light. Well to those who knows me, knows exactly what i'm talking about. I officially embraced the new me in a way, it changes everything and when i said every thing, i do mean, every single thing in my life.

I learned to let go a lot of thing that used to be a major thing in my life and to be honest, at this point of life, i really do feel like a 5 years old... who's trying to figure out a lot of what's happening around me. A curse? A blessing? Being an optimist i believe in looking at things as half glass full, instead of half emptied ones.

At the same time, i finally conquered one of my "what if" moments (the one normally that'll leave me feeling suffocated) Where i finally drive and just follow my heart and finally see that one special person. Without thinking about what'll happen next. Dissapointed? Nope, but he surpasses my expectation, he's more than what other refered to as more than meet the eye (i hope i use the correct expression here hehe)

P.S. I still have that picture perfect moment in my mind, a guy wearing a black t-shirt which was torn on the right sleeve of it, and dark blue tracksuit pants, wearing slippers (white and a little bluish straps and bluish lines on the circle outline of each slipper.) Hmmm... maybe not really a perfect attire for the first 'eye to eye" meet, but to me it was a perfect moment, where i could hear his voice (real life) without listening from the other end of my phone, on a bright daylight where i can see his every strands of greyish hair of his goatee on his "trying to be brave and cool" face. At this moment i'm giggling as i try to recall that one particular moment where, i don't have a single clue on what to say and end up, we sounded like fighting whenever we say something (well this is as per CheChe D, the witness that day! hehe)....

Well ok Dr Lurve used the term "kanyat-kanyat" as his way of expressing the moment, where i preferred to use the term, "lost in translation". Period. :) Not really a moment where people described as "walking on cloud nine" but it does make my heart skipped a beat and felt weak on both of my knees (hehe). All i can say now is, i became...restless and lord knows what else i felt at that particular moment...(blushing!) Dang! Why do i even bother explaining this today? Because it's been a while since i came across this feeling and i want to put it on my blog as my feel good factor, to remind me that, heck yeah i can still feel something after a series of serious broken hearted episode, so to speak.

When i was in that state, i can say all of the above episode "erased" from my "hardrive" memory, I guess for good this time, it's more than a crush huh ;) You tell me....(hehe) And after i finished this sentence, i'm going to post some songs video, then put my signature and post this entry. I'm going to enjoy every second of this!

SWV ~ Weak




Eric Benet ~ The Last Time




Brian McKnight ~ Another You



Joe ~ All That I Am

Teddy Pendergrass ~ When Somebody Loves You Back

Babyface ~ I Wanna Be Your Baby




Toni Braxton ~ I Want To Be Your Baby




Toni Braxton ~ There's No Me Without You




J.Holiday ~ Forever Ain't Enough




Keyshia Cole ft. Monica ~ Trust



Keyshia Cole ~ You Complete Me



Keyshia Cole ~ This Is Us



P.S. Millions more breath taking love song i wish i can put in here, but know this: of course You are not those others described as "Prince Charming" BUT You are my kind of guy, and to date...Omar Sharif will have to finally make way..because You are my missing piece. You Complete Me.







Yours Truly,
Matahari

F..A..M..I..L..Y

" You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. "

Yesterday, as i was browsing FB (where else could i be :p hehe)...i bumped into a profile, Dr Lurve's to be exact ;) . Dr Lurve is my friend's husband (Psst Anna daling if you're reading this, please don't get angry eh just sharing your family's video picture)

I let Dr Lurve became my "psycologist" during my recent MIA trip (over Yahoo, so he is now, officially one of my Yahoo messenger Psycologist :p hehe)... where i was almost beginning to reach "NIRVANA" with my crush over one guy :) I know...pathetic huh, but hey isn't it a wonderful feeling... when you wake up in the morning and imagine that guy says "hi beautiful" (eventho it's only in your mind :p) and imagining him kissing the tip of your nose and your forehead (the one just above your eyebrow >> my case, the one on my left upper eyebrow hehe....) DANG!

That will definately be my reason to wake up to every morning and definately will cure my "Sleepless in Lido" episode for good! Bahahaaa...but, again...it's all in my mind :)

Anyway, I sort of promise Dr Lurve that i'll blog about the family video and promise to share it on my blog. So here goes :D !

Somewhere early this year, after a chaotic brief life changing moment....i was at my kopitiam and feeling down the whole day. Suddenly bigB's brother, (Mr W) came in for a cuppa. Knowing me, when i have one of those "heavier than anything that heavy chest" moments and wish i could just grab my "BRA" and ripped it off and throw it as far as the eye can see, so to speak (hehe) i will do anything just to get rid of that heavy feeling. When i say heavy, i meant ...even my face hurts, in a bad way :p

So ok, I, without any introduction or whatsoever.. shoot a very direct question at Mr W. Wanna know what was the question? Did you guys noticed the title of the blog, on top? Yeah... " What's your defination of a family? " ! My question to Mr W.... I guessed you guys can imagine how his face reacts to that simple question huh?

Surprisingly, his face remained calm...and he begin asking me if i was ok? Then i told him, i felt all numb and heavy inside. If you asked me now, i probably won't have the guts to ask anyone those question... if it's not because of my infamous "bungee jump spur of the moments curiousity" calling! Yeah the suffocation moment, which only those who really knows me understand :) .

He patiently smile and explains to me that...of course a family will consists of a father, a mother, and maybe one or two kids as the son or daughter of the couple, but now adays, family unit can be a little tricky when divorce happen. There you might have step father or step mother or even step childrens that became step siblings to the kids of the previous couple.

I was listening like a 5 years old girl, trying to figure out where he's going with the simplest explaination which he did earlier. And then he continued, to keep a family together is definately one hell of hardwork. He for one was or rather is a living proof of the "hardwork" in building his family and at the same time climbing his own career ladder.

Wish i could share everything about what he shared that day, but i swore to secrecy about the itsy bitsy details BUT this i can say that, this man is a hero! He and his wife survived the difficult phase in life, and now both of them are very successful at where they are in life.

As i learned that Mrs W now is a proud masters scholar holder and holding big post in the government sector, where Mr W is also holding a big post in a semi government sector and still eyeing for his soon to be masters scholar title.

What did i learn from that chat that day? I learn that good teamwork and good give and take moments, are crucial to make a marriage work, especially when you are a father and a mother of the family, because this is where it all begin. A solid foundation that will help mould a child's development... be it, mentally, physically or spiritually.

By saying that, i honestly have no whatsoever intention in putting any of my parents down, as i understand now that maybe they too were as naive as i was. But i thanked God that i still have the opportunity to maybe do something about it, as i learn thru my past life experience and those experience made me who I am today. Maybe if those things didn't take place, i wouldn't be searching for those missing puzzles in life and i wouldn't be here blogging about it.

So about this Dr Lurve and his latest family video creation, i learned that being away from your family can be channelled into something beautiful as what Dr Lurve did with his spare time (so to speak! hehe) by simply putting a simple photo collection and music together (especially those with beautiful lyrics) and WALLA! A masterpiece, which make his other half (Anna) drive all the way from Kota Kinabalu to Lawas ( I've forgotten the exact kilometres but roughly in hours, 3 to 4 hours?) just so they can be together for breaking their fast together as a family. Now that is, sacrifice in the name of love!

Where two parents separated (in distance...) because of work to find something for their kids, so that they can provide them with maybe a roof over their head, education, and building a future together as a family. As i fondly remember as a child, being away from a father figure does hurt a lot, especially when you are the daddy's girl, and your other sibling (in my case, my brother) being momma's boy. As on my team, my anchor was no where to be seen...those days i have no cellphone to tell him if i was having a bad day at school or simply telling him, how i miss hugging him and miss hearing his voice...(well my "anchor" was a good singer and the best guitar player as i remembered..)

Those are some of the missing puzzles that i keep trying to fill in the blanks all these while, and every journey was indeed a wonderful discovery to me. Altho there are moments where i hit few walls along the way, but when i did recovered from the so called " amnesia" (hehe) i can see a lot of beautiful things surrounding me. Be it new friends, new relatives, new family members and my recent case was, new faith. :)

I had an opportunity on the August 15th to chat with my new family member (Abang MM) which is my cousin's husband, where he is now having the "seperated by distance" moments with his wife due to illness. Where his wife (i just call her kakak ok? ) is in the recovering stage from cancer. Abang is now with the kids in Tawau while, Kakak is in Kota Kinabalu for her radio"something" (i forgotten what's it called..sorry hehe) She survived all the chemotherapy session and now with the radio "something".

I went for my armpit laser hair removal a couple of years ago (and i still have a few session left!!!), and believe me, it was painful! And chemotherapy? I don't know how did she survived all those sessions, but heck, she's one hell of a strong lady! I'm proud of you Kakak, and Abang as a solid anchor for Kakak through out the excruciating sessions, and for being a solid anchor alone, during their trial period. BRAVO! P.S. Abang, I'll always remember the story you told me about you using the song "You To Me Are Everything" as an alarm sound to wake the kids for sahur :) now that is really sweet, instead of screaming you lungs out, you channel it to something positive and even if they can't wake up, least it gives you all the positive vibes eh :D, BRAVO Abang!!

I believe that tough times never last but tough people do. Life is tough but tougher when you are stupid. What i meant was sometimes when we do come across a difficult situation in life, but things would be much easier if we make things simpler by making the most of it and take care of the things that matters the most.

Some will go stray when they feel numb inside ( i did, i'm not ashamed of admitting it. least i learned my lesson and try to be wiser the next time around, altho i have to pay a big price on whatever lesson i learned.) and some just need to be alone to reflect on things and perhaps try to figure out the best way of handling things.


P.S. to Mami & Daddy Google, you know who you are....let us learn from all these wonderful people, so we can make our life a beautiful one! I mean it when i said if i'm old and i can't carry my own grocesseries, you guys are on my speed dial! BAHAHAHA

Sometimes, thinking hard before making an impulsive move on something will save you a lot of heartache in the future. By sharing some of the videos later, i do hope it'll leave some impact on others as it did to me.

Dr Lurve's pride & joy!




My "adik angkat" (adopted sister's fiance birthday bash recently), The Apple of Gwenny's Eyes




Aris Ariwatan ~ 1 2 3 4




Freddie Aguilar ~ Anak




Miley Cyrus ~ Butterfly Fly Away



Yours truly,
BabyMatahari
~ "The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being."

Songs II

While i was browsing FB, i found this song...an old song but nice lyrics i must say :)

I remembered one of my girl friend was so into this song when she was in love with this guy..hehe i think if she's reading my blog (sweetie, u know who u are :p)

Don't get me wrong, i'm posting it here just for listening pleasure and it has nothing to do with any particular guy :)

Daniel Beddingfield ~ If You're Not The One (Accapella)


Daniel Beddingfield ~ If You're Not The One (Acoustic)


Daniel Beddingfield ~ Never Gonna leave Your Side


Mytha ~ Takkan Terganti


Mytha ~ Soulmate


The curse of being a dead romantic at heart, i must say..one can never not noticed a to - die - for song lyrics...hehe...Selamat Berpuasa All :)

Yours truly,
Matahari :)

August 10th, 2010 :)

Today a close friend of mine, DT brought me a "sejadah" or prayer mat in my favourite color, blue :)

I don't know wether it's time for me or He finally shows me the way or anything like that but i'm open for anything right now.

Seing her doing her prayer, how it calms her down altho she went thru a lot of things at the same time, and seing how focus she was as i observed her from my favourite corner while doing her Zohor prayer....it hit me. Maybe He is finally showing me how to be a calm and focus person.

Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with any moslem guy or anything about my latest crush, it just happen. BAM! Just like that....

All my life, to even the time where i was supposed to do my "confirmation" so that i could go for my so called "marriage course" (so that i "could" get married in church...well that was those days..hehe) i felt that, by going for "confirmation" so that i could get married properly... was all wrong! Right there and then, i told my mom off that, if i decided to go for the "confirmation" it should be because i wanted to do it, not so that i could get married with somebody.

That time, i was contemplanting .... until what i found my ultimate answer today. if any of you guys noticed, i happen to have another FB account under another name, which i did when i was looking for some missing puzzles in life.

Today everything falls into places...and i understand fully what i'm looking for in life. And i repeat, nothing to do with any moslem guy. It has been me all along....this is the miracle i've been waiting for all along :)

"Please guide me, and mould me to be a better person to my family, friends and loved ones. Guide me to see and decide what is right and what is wrong so that i could share it for the betterment of myself and others. Guide me, so i can feel calm and focus in life, Guide me from doing anything bad that can harm myself, my family, my friends and my loved ones. Guide me so that one day, i can help guide those who lost their way in life, to be strong, kind, honest and most of all, to love one another without being prejudice, judgemental or feeling any hatred or vengence towards each other. "

Yours truly,

Noor Ameera Anani Johan AKA MATAHARI :)

P.S. Selamat Berpuasa to all my moslem family and friends near or far...Hugssss..:)

Soul Food of The Day

"Eleven Hints for Life"

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.


Just for today, i devote my entire day to looking good and feeling good, because I'm worth it!

The selections of songs makes me feel, I am that Girl...so i'm sharing it all here for all the girls out there, Remember this:
"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.

1.So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.

2.Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts.

3.Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back."

Bobby Valentino ~ Slow Down



Chris Brown ~ With You



Brian Mcknight ft. Justin Timberlake ~ My Kind of Girl



Peter Andre ~ Mysterious Girl


Beautiful Day People!


Yours truly,
Miss MATAHARI :D

A Coincidence?

"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heart beat, or will stay awake to watch you sleep, wait for the boy who kisses your forehead .."

hmm...i woke up today and jumped right infront of my laptop, signed in to facebook and WALLA! I found this (as jotted above, minus the cute flowery signs..hehe) on my favourite aunt's facebook profile :)

Coincidence? I don't know, but it was a nice coincidence tho ( P.S. Thank You Aunty, for i always believe...you're my LOVE GURU hehe..but seriously! HUGSSSSS)

Munching my favourite crackers, armed with my favourite yellow mug Morning cuppa ;) with Mr Benet singing his heart out (AGAIN! Yeah, on repeat MODE! ) I woke up about 9-ish and yeah it was the perfect sleep i ever had in a long time, even without laying next to me. Like i said, i feel safe...for now :) Altho, safe means having going to sleep at 5.30 am and woke up around 9-ish...but it was perfect, refreshing and i'm fully rejuvenated!

Oh, now i'm thinking about how do i make it to 2 important meet up on sunday? Where a friend of mine, will be back from Russia and coming over to the hair salon to do her hair and at the same time catching up with me on things and at the same time, my ex schoolmates are arranging a get together on the same day and i think about the same time? Plus my mom's leaving me without a wheel for attending my niece's wedding at the same day? HELP! I need a driver :(

Oh by the way, here's something for my lovely niece, BiBie...for having survived the lost of her beloved husband to cancer and for her new man on her side now...who loved her as she is, with her 4 adorable children and for being a man :) Proud of you sweetie :) " May your love for each other will grow stronger each and everyday, and may you'' be blessed with all the finest things in life. MWAHHHHH I'm soo happy for you Bibie :)

Love,
Aunty MATAHARI :)


All 4 One ~ Beautiful As You

The Song, huh?

As what i have written earlier, I could be easily identified as having a classic sign of a writer's blocked (or perhaps, blockage...i don't know, these days my mind plays trick with me all the time!)

I just came back from my MIA-ing trip, to where all the succluded areas you can imagine. Well, tonight someone asked me if I am a spy? Hehe, good one ;) I have to give you an anti-climax on that one though, i wish i am (exciting life!) but in reality, No!

So by seing me jotting down in here AGAIN, it could mean some of my BIG QUESTION MARKS are or were answered. Well not all of it, but at least after jotting down all these, i think sleeping won't be a problem anymore. I could only think of one thing when i wake up later on, A BIG SMILE :) Happy? You can say that again....VERY HAPPY :)

ALTHO.... (yeah i know, always my kind of anti-climax of happy ending about what i'm going to blog about....) some of the questions still not -so-patience-ly awaits for some unfulfilled or end sentences... but for now, i can blog my heart out again. So, YAYYYYYYY :D

I remembered telling Big G (let's just call him, Big G hehe..i promise one fine day i shall revealed this mysterious Big G to you! So Stay Tuned ;) ) about an incident where i went like a bat - out - of - hell - over You Tube until 6 am, searching and looking for my so called "Future Wedding song" after been asked by my cousin, "Sis what is your wedding song gonna be like?", or something like that....sighhhh

Seriously, i have no what - so - ever idea about it, until someone nailed it to my head, HARD!

All these while, i only think about my theme songs whenever i was down or happy (for what reason, i don't know..it just happen, it's so me huh? hehe) or for being just plain silly...until i stumbled upon another one of Eric Benet's number, today. Basically it sums up all i have bottled up in me for the past...one week plus to be exact! Curious what was the lyrics in the song? Well, i'll share it if you think you won't get tired reading about my crappy blog today hehe...



Eric Benet ~ We Could Have Been

Tell me whose to blame
i thought that we were on our way
i never dream that all my life that love could feel that way
did we move to slow? or was it just too soon?
but there i go,looking back once more.
like a fool, i still imagine what we ...

could have been could it be
we had a chance if we just try again
its the hardest thing to face
its like never knowing how the story ever ends
and i'll never know just what we could have been

so i'll just say its meant to be
and this is faith and destiny
but tell me how do i explain this into part in me
though i write these words i know i'll carry on
but i love you still, probably always will
nothing could ever be so beautiful as we

could have been
if only love had lead you back into my arms again
its the hardest thing to know that
i will never love again like we did then
and you'll never know
just what we could have been

there maybe another chance
in some other space and time
some other circumstance
but will we feel the same
oh how wonderful this world would be
to face it with you here with me
only heaven knows maybe they will see
oh

what we could have been
could it be there was a chance
if we just try again
its the hardest thing
its like never knowing how the story's going to end
and we'll never know just what we hope what we could have been baby
if love could have let you back to my arms again
its the hardest thing to know that
i will never love again like we did then
i know i never ,again
and to never know just what
we could have been


Well, I know now that i'm not gonna be doing my infamous "bungee jumping act" when it comes to the matter of the heart. I'm gonna wait, and see how it goes and see if it fits. Sounds familiar? Hehe...well from the last episode, i think i've grown a little wiser and i don't want to just follow my heart when it comes to making a big desicion this time. I want to use my head and minus all those sentimental things (well just a bit it won't hurt ...or else i will be like a robotic on auto pilot mode hehe).

It does feels nice to have a heart to heart talk out in the open at last, and i liked the idea that baby's doesnt come with a manual, OK another one nailed straight to my head or heart for that matter. Could this be it? I don't know, but talking about those things that will make me blushed badly in real life does helps in calming my nerves down, BIG TIME!

So ok, i feel safe...for now. And i finally yawn! YAYYYYY time for bed now, so i'll leave you guys with Mr Benet himself singing, my theme song for the evening :) a slow one this time :) the song that successfully makes me scared the hell out of the word "what if" ! For good! hehe...sweet dreams sweetheart, wherever you are :)

Eric Benet ~ We Could Have Been

Yours truly,

Matahari

I am hmmmm.....

I can't seem to focus on anything, dang! I really hate this....help?