F..A..M..I..L..Y

" You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. "

Yesterday, as i was browsing FB (where else could i be :p hehe)...i bumped into a profile, Dr Lurve's to be exact ;) . Dr Lurve is my friend's husband (Psst Anna daling if you're reading this, please don't get angry eh just sharing your family's video picture)

I let Dr Lurve became my "psycologist" during my recent MIA trip (over Yahoo, so he is now, officially one of my Yahoo messenger Psycologist :p hehe)... where i was almost beginning to reach "NIRVANA" with my crush over one guy :) I know...pathetic huh, but hey isn't it a wonderful feeling... when you wake up in the morning and imagine that guy says "hi beautiful" (eventho it's only in your mind :p) and imagining him kissing the tip of your nose and your forehead (the one just above your eyebrow >> my case, the one on my left upper eyebrow hehe....) DANG!

That will definately be my reason to wake up to every morning and definately will cure my "Sleepless in Lido" episode for good! Bahahaaa...but, again...it's all in my mind :)

Anyway, I sort of promise Dr Lurve that i'll blog about the family video and promise to share it on my blog. So here goes :D !

Somewhere early this year, after a chaotic brief life changing moment....i was at my kopitiam and feeling down the whole day. Suddenly bigB's brother, (Mr W) came in for a cuppa. Knowing me, when i have one of those "heavier than anything that heavy chest" moments and wish i could just grab my "BRA" and ripped it off and throw it as far as the eye can see, so to speak (hehe) i will do anything just to get rid of that heavy feeling. When i say heavy, i meant ...even my face hurts, in a bad way :p

So ok, I, without any introduction or whatsoever.. shoot a very direct question at Mr W. Wanna know what was the question? Did you guys noticed the title of the blog, on top? Yeah... " What's your defination of a family? " ! My question to Mr W.... I guessed you guys can imagine how his face reacts to that simple question huh?

Surprisingly, his face remained calm...and he begin asking me if i was ok? Then i told him, i felt all numb and heavy inside. If you asked me now, i probably won't have the guts to ask anyone those question... if it's not because of my infamous "bungee jump spur of the moments curiousity" calling! Yeah the suffocation moment, which only those who really knows me understand :) .

He patiently smile and explains to me that...of course a family will consists of a father, a mother, and maybe one or two kids as the son or daughter of the couple, but now adays, family unit can be a little tricky when divorce happen. There you might have step father or step mother or even step childrens that became step siblings to the kids of the previous couple.

I was listening like a 5 years old girl, trying to figure out where he's going with the simplest explaination which he did earlier. And then he continued, to keep a family together is definately one hell of hardwork. He for one was or rather is a living proof of the "hardwork" in building his family and at the same time climbing his own career ladder.

Wish i could share everything about what he shared that day, but i swore to secrecy about the itsy bitsy details BUT this i can say that, this man is a hero! He and his wife survived the difficult phase in life, and now both of them are very successful at where they are in life.

As i learned that Mrs W now is a proud masters scholar holder and holding big post in the government sector, where Mr W is also holding a big post in a semi government sector and still eyeing for his soon to be masters scholar title.

What did i learn from that chat that day? I learn that good teamwork and good give and take moments, are crucial to make a marriage work, especially when you are a father and a mother of the family, because this is where it all begin. A solid foundation that will help mould a child's development... be it, mentally, physically or spiritually.

By saying that, i honestly have no whatsoever intention in putting any of my parents down, as i understand now that maybe they too were as naive as i was. But i thanked God that i still have the opportunity to maybe do something about it, as i learn thru my past life experience and those experience made me who I am today. Maybe if those things didn't take place, i wouldn't be searching for those missing puzzles in life and i wouldn't be here blogging about it.

So about this Dr Lurve and his latest family video creation, i learned that being away from your family can be channelled into something beautiful as what Dr Lurve did with his spare time (so to speak! hehe) by simply putting a simple photo collection and music together (especially those with beautiful lyrics) and WALLA! A masterpiece, which make his other half (Anna) drive all the way from Kota Kinabalu to Lawas ( I've forgotten the exact kilometres but roughly in hours, 3 to 4 hours?) just so they can be together for breaking their fast together as a family. Now that is, sacrifice in the name of love!

Where two parents separated (in distance...) because of work to find something for their kids, so that they can provide them with maybe a roof over their head, education, and building a future together as a family. As i fondly remember as a child, being away from a father figure does hurt a lot, especially when you are the daddy's girl, and your other sibling (in my case, my brother) being momma's boy. As on my team, my anchor was no where to be seen...those days i have no cellphone to tell him if i was having a bad day at school or simply telling him, how i miss hugging him and miss hearing his voice...(well my "anchor" was a good singer and the best guitar player as i remembered..)

Those are some of the missing puzzles that i keep trying to fill in the blanks all these while, and every journey was indeed a wonderful discovery to me. Altho there are moments where i hit few walls along the way, but when i did recovered from the so called " amnesia" (hehe) i can see a lot of beautiful things surrounding me. Be it new friends, new relatives, new family members and my recent case was, new faith. :)

I had an opportunity on the August 15th to chat with my new family member (Abang MM) which is my cousin's husband, where he is now having the "seperated by distance" moments with his wife due to illness. Where his wife (i just call her kakak ok? ) is in the recovering stage from cancer. Abang is now with the kids in Tawau while, Kakak is in Kota Kinabalu for her radio"something" (i forgotten what's it called..sorry hehe) She survived all the chemotherapy session and now with the radio "something".

I went for my armpit laser hair removal a couple of years ago (and i still have a few session left!!!), and believe me, it was painful! And chemotherapy? I don't know how did she survived all those sessions, but heck, she's one hell of a strong lady! I'm proud of you Kakak, and Abang as a solid anchor for Kakak through out the excruciating sessions, and for being a solid anchor alone, during their trial period. BRAVO! P.S. Abang, I'll always remember the story you told me about you using the song "You To Me Are Everything" as an alarm sound to wake the kids for sahur :) now that is really sweet, instead of screaming you lungs out, you channel it to something positive and even if they can't wake up, least it gives you all the positive vibes eh :D, BRAVO Abang!!

I believe that tough times never last but tough people do. Life is tough but tougher when you are stupid. What i meant was sometimes when we do come across a difficult situation in life, but things would be much easier if we make things simpler by making the most of it and take care of the things that matters the most.

Some will go stray when they feel numb inside ( i did, i'm not ashamed of admitting it. least i learned my lesson and try to be wiser the next time around, altho i have to pay a big price on whatever lesson i learned.) and some just need to be alone to reflect on things and perhaps try to figure out the best way of handling things.


P.S. to Mami & Daddy Google, you know who you are....let us learn from all these wonderful people, so we can make our life a beautiful one! I mean it when i said if i'm old and i can't carry my own grocesseries, you guys are on my speed dial! BAHAHAHA

Sometimes, thinking hard before making an impulsive move on something will save you a lot of heartache in the future. By sharing some of the videos later, i do hope it'll leave some impact on others as it did to me.

Dr Lurve's pride & joy!




My "adik angkat" (adopted sister's fiance birthday bash recently), The Apple of Gwenny's Eyes




Aris Ariwatan ~ 1 2 3 4




Freddie Aguilar ~ Anak




Miley Cyrus ~ Butterfly Fly Away



Yours truly,
BabyMatahari
~ "The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being."