August 10th, 2010 :)

Today a close friend of mine, DT brought me a "sejadah" or prayer mat in my favourite color, blue :)

I don't know wether it's time for me or He finally shows me the way or anything like that but i'm open for anything right now.

Seing her doing her prayer, how it calms her down altho she went thru a lot of things at the same time, and seing how focus she was as i observed her from my favourite corner while doing her Zohor prayer....it hit me. Maybe He is finally showing me how to be a calm and focus person.

Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with any moslem guy or anything about my latest crush, it just happen. BAM! Just like that....

All my life, to even the time where i was supposed to do my "confirmation" so that i could go for my so called "marriage course" (so that i "could" get married in church...well that was those days..hehe) i felt that, by going for "confirmation" so that i could get married properly... was all wrong! Right there and then, i told my mom off that, if i decided to go for the "confirmation" it should be because i wanted to do it, not so that i could get married with somebody.

That time, i was contemplanting .... until what i found my ultimate answer today. if any of you guys noticed, i happen to have another FB account under another name, which i did when i was looking for some missing puzzles in life.

Today everything falls into places...and i understand fully what i'm looking for in life. And i repeat, nothing to do with any moslem guy. It has been me all along....this is the miracle i've been waiting for all along :)

"Please guide me, and mould me to be a better person to my family, friends and loved ones. Guide me to see and decide what is right and what is wrong so that i could share it for the betterment of myself and others. Guide me, so i can feel calm and focus in life, Guide me from doing anything bad that can harm myself, my family, my friends and my loved ones. Guide me so that one day, i can help guide those who lost their way in life, to be strong, kind, honest and most of all, to love one another without being prejudice, judgemental or feeling any hatred or vengence towards each other. "

Yours truly,

Noor Ameera Anani Johan AKA MATAHARI :)

P.S. Selamat Berpuasa to all my moslem family and friends near or far...Hugssss..:)