I just came back from my MIA-ing trip, to where all the succluded areas you can imagine. Well, tonight someone asked me if I am a spy? Hehe, good one ;) I have to give you an anti-climax on that one though, i wish i am (exciting life!) but in reality, No!
So by seing me jotting down in here AGAIN, it could mean some of my BIG QUESTION MARKS are or were answered. Well not all of it, but at least after jotting down all these, i think sleeping won't be a problem anymore. I could only think of one thing when i wake up later on, A BIG SMILE :) Happy? You can say that again....VERY HAPPY :)
ALTHO.... (yeah i know, always my kind of anti-climax of happy ending about what i'm going to blog about....) some of the questions still not -so-patience-ly awaits for some unfulfilled or end sentences... but for now, i can blog my heart out again. So, YAYYYYYYY :D
I remembered telling Big G (let's just call him, Big G hehe..i promise one fine day i shall revealed this mysterious Big G to you! So Stay Tuned ;) ) about an incident where i went like a bat - out - of - hell - over You Tube until 6 am, searching and looking for my so called "Future Wedding song" after been asked by my cousin, "Sis what is your wedding song gonna be like?", or something like that....sighhhh
Seriously, i have no what - so - ever idea about it, until someone nailed it to my head, HARD!
All these while, i only think about my theme songs whenever i was down or happy (for what reason, i don't know..it just happen, it's so me huh? hehe) or for being just plain silly...until i stumbled upon another one of Eric Benet's number, today. Basically it sums up all i have bottled up in me for the past...one week plus to be exact! Curious what was the lyrics in the song? Well, i'll share it if you think you won't get tired reading about my crappy blog today hehe...
Eric Benet ~ We Could Have Been
Tell me whose to blame
i thought that we were on our way
i never dream that all my life that love could feel that way
did we move to slow? or was it just too soon?
but there i go,looking back once more.
like a fool, i still imagine what we ...
could have been could it be
we had a chance if we just try again
its the hardest thing to face
its like never knowing how the story ever ends
and i'll never know just what we could have been
so i'll just say its meant to be
and this is faith and destiny
but tell me how do i explain this into part in me
though i write these words i know i'll carry on
but i love you still, probably always will
nothing could ever be so beautiful as we
could have been
if only love had lead you back into my arms again
its the hardest thing to know that
i will never love again like we did then
and you'll never know
just what we could have been
there maybe another chance
in some other space and time
some other circumstance
but will we feel the same
oh how wonderful this world would be
to face it with you here with me
only heaven knows maybe they will see
oh
what we could have been
could it be there was a chance
if we just try again
its the hardest thing
its like never knowing how the story's going to end
and we'll never know just what we hope what we could have been baby
if love could have let you back to my arms again
its the hardest thing to know that
i will never love again like we did then
i know i never ,again
and to never know just what
we could have been
Well, I know now that i'm not gonna be doing my infamous "bungee jumping act" when it comes to the matter of the heart. I'm gonna wait, and see how it goes and see if it fits. Sounds familiar? Hehe...well from the last episode, i think i've grown a little wiser and i don't want to just follow my heart when it comes to making a big desicion this time. I want to use my head and minus all those sentimental things (well just a bit it won't hurt ...or else i will be like a robotic on auto pilot mode hehe).
It does feels nice to have a heart to heart talk out in the open at last, and i liked the idea that baby's doesnt come with a manual, OK another one nailed straight to my head or heart for that matter. Could this be it? I don't know, but talking about those things that will make me blushed badly in real life does helps in calming my nerves down, BIG TIME!
So ok, i feel safe...for now. And i finally yawn! YAYYYYY time for bed now, so i'll leave you guys with Mr Benet himself singing, my theme song for the evening :) a slow one this time :) the song that successfully makes me scared the hell out of the word "what if" ! For good! hehe...sweet dreams sweetheart, wherever you are :)
Eric Benet ~ We Could Have Been
Yours truly,
Matahari
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