THANKS TO YOU!

“What’s with the old and new? It doesn’t matter whether the songs, people, books or even movies… the new ones can always improved the beat in a song, but the old song will always remained classic and classy in it’s own way...”

Hi Five ~ Can’t Wait Another Minute

The old and new eh? Why I bring this up today? I really miss the ole days…Today, when I opened my facebook, I saw a comment on one of the song I posted in my group “Irene’s Favourite Tunes”. I was really touched by one of my dearest old friend's comment…. Lydia to me is like a big sister that I never have.

Those days way back in 1988 when I was in the secondary school (form 1), we used to fool people by telling them that we are actually real sisters. Of Course at first, none of them believed us at first, but when we explained that we are steps sisters..then yeah! HAHA!

I can’t believe how time flies so fast. It was 19 years ago (1990), I left SM St John Tuaran after form 3! That was the saddest time for me in school to have to leave behind all my closest friends to go to SBPL (formerly known as, Sekolah Berasrama Penuh Labuan. Now known to all as, Sekolah Menengah Sains Labuan) and knows nothing about what’s ahead of me.

When I left, my closest friends told me that they were so proud of me and to named a few, Manja, Lydia, Wandi, Cath…and the list continues. To this day, a part of me kept thinking..”What If” I didn’t go that time? Would things be different?

Deele ~ Two Occasions


I missed all of them when I was in SBPL….boy, I really did! The thing that kept me sane while I was in SBPL was Manja’s letter, which she kept writing to me without failed and told me everything about what happen back home (Tuaran). I used to wait nearby the stair case next to the school admin office for her letters, which as soon as I get my letter, I will quickly go to my favourite spot and read it out loud as if Manja is reading it to me in person. I prayed hard that her letters never stop coming because for me to write back, I was so ashamed that I have nothing good to tell about my life back in SBPL. So ashamed that my ego took control of my feeling. As some of those people who knows me, knows what I’m talking about. I never meant to be an egocentric, it’s just who I am and how I was raised.

After 7 ~ Baby I’m for real

That time, being a cry baby infront of people was totally out of the question! I have too many defences which destroyed the softer and the good side of me, turning me into someone I don’t even know exist! A monster to be precise!

That feeling now totally banished from my dictionary and thanks, I had to learned it the hard way. I never regret to have shown to some people back in SBPL that “monster” side of me. They asked for it! Just imagine being bullied mentally and being boycotted by the whole school for standing up for what I believe. Just because I refused to join the school bonkers boys to boycott another fat, smelly fellow schoolmate? I have my own brain, thank you very much! Unless you’re a really insecure human being, having an inferiority complex of your own and can’t stand to be left alone, then it’s your lost…definitely not mine!

By that, you can tell how high was my ego ;) In that context, I’m proud to be the last man standing and NO, NO REGRET what so ever! I believe that all human being should be treated equally, even how smelly, fat, different ethnic race or level they belonged to.

We are all human being, and human beings have feeling! I can forgive easily, but I’ll never forget. It’s a friction of my life chapter, and those what made me who I am today. I never hold grudges, my purpose here today is purely to educate those ignorant people to see things from the victim’s shoes. So before they decide to do things like that to other people, put themselves in that shoe first! It was not a good feeling. The very basic of human fundamental needs is to love and to be loved, to feel safe and needed by other human being.

Picture yourself as a person who came from a broken home and a bad childhood past and then things like that happens to you….what will you do? How would you handle with it? I know I survived, but can you?

The lesson I learned from all the above was, “If you’re going thru hell, keep going” and never ever surrender, for this I can promise you, in every suffering or dark tunnel….at the end, there’s always a light that shines so bright. That once you see it, it can even make you forget that you ever been in a dark tunnel or dark period in your life.

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind. We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world. Speak or act with a pure mind and happiness will follow you as your shadow….Unshakeable!
To dream of the person you would like to be, is to waste the person you are…all of us have a beautiful heart. Never ever forget that! The best thing is to be the best version of ourselves. That way, no matter where you go, you’ll stands out from the crowd.

“The crowd, the world, and sometimes even the grave, step aside for the man who knows where he’s going, but pushes the aimless drifter or follower aside”

“Keep away from small minded people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small minded people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you too, can become great! “

P.S : To my dearest sisters, Lydia & Manja… Thank You for loving me as me….this song goes out to you….

Tyler Collins ~ Thanks To You

Yours Truly,
IRENE JOHAN

*Some of the songs selected today are reflections of my feelings, it could be a new song or a blast from the past…Thank you for dropping by ;)